This is insane...

I set up plans this past Wednesday to go to Berea to watch the Browns training camp with my girlfriend Emily and my long time friend Dan. Wednesday morning I was completely consumed by what laid ahead; unfortunately the practice was not scheduled until 5:30. My Bernie Kosar jersey, my hat, Emily's Brady Quinn jersey would just have to wait in the car.

Go back to when you were about ten. Just old enough to understand Christmas and to look forwarded to getting that gift you really wanted. Imagine walking down the stairs and seeing the gifts under the tree - you immediately find the one that is just the right size...you know it is your special gift. You look around - your parents are busy with the other kids. You begin to slowly peel back the wrapping paper to avoid making to much noise and attracting attention to yourself. Then, from the other room you hear your mother shout, "Everyone get dressed, we are going to your Aunt & Uncle's house." Your stomach drops and all you can do is wait till later to open your present. Yeah...that is how my day went.

Finally, our 4:30 meeting time had arrived. Dan was in position and waiting - but where was Emily? I received a call at 4:45 from her saying that she had been stuck in the lab, so was walking now. I hopped in the car and picked her up, then Dan. We were headed to Berea... a little behind schedule.

Water towers are not something I normally pay much attention too...until that day. It is one thing to see an article in the Plain Dealer about the Browns logo going up on a water tower, it is another thing to see it first hand. To a 'normal person' (non sports fan) it was just another marketing scheme by another company...whatever. To a Browns fan this water tower represents so much more - it shows that the everyday guy is rallying behind the heroes on the field. It shows pride, it shows belief, it demands respect.

Water towers are great and all, but nothing beats a towering defensive players in my mind. Dan, Emily, and I went around and watched the defensive linemen practicing; it was cool to see the other side of the ball. Shaun Rogers is one big guy. This is just about all I can remember from the actual training camp. If someone that big was chasing me for a ball - I would seriously consider just giving it to them. We also tried to watch some of the offense, but I swear every fan on that side of the field was 6'5 inches, 275 or something. I could barely see anything and it was hopeless for Dan and Emily, who are on the shorter side.

Last year my father took me fly fishing (I really enjoy it) on a snowy, cold day (20 degrees). My fingers were freezing and I was not having to much fun on this given day. He looked over at me and said, "This is insane right[to be out here]?". I immediately agreed and we packed it in. Looking back on that day I realize something - it wasn't insane to him, only to me.

As I looked over at Emily and Dan trying unsuccessfully to see I acknowledged something...this was insane. We did not stay much longer.

No player came up to us and talked, none of them thanked us for coming (aside from the people at the gate) . Even if our visit wasn't as thrilling, our visit to Berea still had a purpose. Even though we couldn't see the players, and they couldn't see us - they knew we were there. They could look into the bleachers and see plethora of guys wishing they were on the field, women trying to get a closer look at Brady Quinn, and children pretending they were NFL stars. The players need us to be there - everyone needs to remember where they came from, what they are playing for, and most importantly that they are supported. The fans need something to look up to, to help pick them up on a rough day.

Yes, this might seem insane, but the fans & the players, the team are forever linked through their reliance on one another. It might seem insane to root for something we have no control over. It might seem insane to spend so much time reading about the greats we will never meet. It might seem insane to throw so much emotion into a team we are not playing for. It might be insane, but we will keep showing up...

This Doesn't Feel Right

Growing up in Cleveland through the 80's and 90's the first quarterback I remember was Bernie Kosar (Read some posts from last year to see why I think he is king). I have no memories of the Paul Brown era when head coaches wore suites as a sign of respect for the game (someone should remind Belichick of this), I have no memories of Otto Graham or Jim Brown - I only have stories of these greats. I respect what they brought to the game, and more importantly to this city. Their presence demanded respect and confidence - something that many Clevelanders are having trouble finding within themselves these days.

The majority of my childhood and teen years were spent cheering for the Indians to take a championship - they demanded our respect in the 90's.

I have memories of my parents packing the family in the 92' Chrysler Minivan in the middle of the night, driving down to an empty Jacob's Field, and honking our horn to celebrate the Indians winning a big game (that horn never recovered). The really crazy thing - there were thousands who did the same.

I remember Manny forgetting how many outs there were in the World Series...I won't get into that one.

Lets fast forward to 2008:

The Browns training camp started yesterday. The articles in The Plain Dealer were upbeat and inspiring - the city is ready for the Browns. The water tower in Berea received a new addition...a Browns helmet and the caption "Home of the Cleveland Browns" - words that emphatically scream "This is our team and we are proud of it."

We have come a long way from the coin flip last year. The funny thing is that the Bears actually flipped a coin to see who their QB would be this year - maybe someone should remind them that Charlie Frye won that flip, not Anderson...hmmm, on second thought lets let them figure that one out on their own.

Lebron could not carry us to a NBA championship (single handed), The Indians folded on this year before the all-star break (trading CC), so our hope for a champion this year rests with the Browns - this doesn't feel right. I have never experienced the Browns getting so much respect. I mean, any warm blooded Clevelander would defend the Browns any day of the week, but now we are on the footsteps of national respect - something this fan, this family, this team, this city needs right now. Respect is ours for the taking, now is the time we need to seize it.

Will I get used to this new feeling? I think the billboards that are going up around Cleveland say it best "There is always this year."

Backing Away From Disaster

If you are any time of Cleveland fan you know when a rookie from the opposing team is going to play...they will have a career day; Even if the Browns/Indians/Cavs are on fire the games you fear the most are those in which the opposing team is doing horrible; those are the games that break our hearts...those are the games we lose.

Sunday's game against the Rams was setup to be one of those games - the Ram's were 0-7 going in...this had disaster written all over it. I was nervous days before the game; I was nervous during the game; Heck, as I write this blog 2 months after the fact (sorry about that...real life/school makes one busy), I am still nervous.

What made the Rams particularly dangerous was the fact that Steven Jackson came back from an injury; he is their star running back. No big deal; I mean the Browns I am sure prepared for him and everything will be fine...hahahahaha; yeah right, we are Cleveland fans.

You know that shovel you have in your garage? The one your significant other laughed at you for getting, saying "when in the heck are you going to use this...it is huge!" Yeah, that one you are so proud of. Well, the Browns borrowed that in the first quarter and dug themselves the biggest hole I have seen in while. Jackson was on fire - he had a rushing touchdown in no time and the Rams drove down a second time and got another.

14 points. While the Browns were working on that hole I started to make the coffin for the game...ok, not really. I mean every Browns fan talks like they are giving up on the game, but no one actually does...ever. The Browns managed to put together a descent drive and get a field goal...not bad.

WAIT. There is a God! Steven Jackson got hurt! No, I don't actively hope that anyone gets hurt and even when they do I pray it isn't serious. That being said, the "back spasisms" he was experiencing was welcomes news to all Browns fans. I told you - God is a Browns fan.

On the next drive I knew we would win this game. The Rams had brought it to the Cleveland 33 and decided to go for it on fourth since the Browns defense was...pitiful. Thats when it happened; the players on the field transformed. I saw sparks of the later 80's and early 90's that I grew up watching. They marched out on the field and stuffed a run for no gain; the Browns got the ball back and the momentum. The Browns never looked back from there. Sure the game was close, but that is when it all turned around.

Winning against a winless team might seem like a "gimme" victory to most people, but us Clevelanders know how hard those wins are to come by. The Browns have now won back to back games and are showing signs of life. I will put away my coffin construction gear for now...